SELF-CARE

A question that many parents have is, "How do I parent a difficult child?" While that is not a simple question to answer because all children and parents are different. Perhaps it is by becoming a better parent and learning new strategies. In the next three blog posts, I will share a few things that I have learned from taking the parenting skills class at BYU-I and the NEPEM (National Extension Parent Education Model) that will hopefully help you as your raise your children.

This first post will cover self-care and why it is important in raising happy, healthy children, especially difficult children. The World Health Organization (2021) defines self-care as: “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.” Self-care begins with being conscious of your own needs and how much you can give. As a parent, it is important to take care of yourself. If you are like most moms and dads, you get so busy taking care of the kids you need to be reminded to take care of yourself. An important step to becoming a better parent is by practicing self-care.

DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR PHYSICAL SELF? Regularly eat healthy meals Get exercise Get enough sleep Get regular check-ups Spend time outdoors Take a break from electronics DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL / EMOTIONAL SELF? Spend time with friends Say no to extra responsibilities Work on your marriage or other relationships Practice gratitude Express your emotions Forgive yourself and others DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR CREATIVE / SPIRITUAL SELF? Allow yourself quiet time to reflect Attend worship Write in a journal Spend time in nature Enjoy a hobby Learn to do something new

What happens to a PARENT when he or she neglects self-care?

The world often pressures parents to give so much to their children that they neglect themselves or feel like they are being selfish or that it is a waste of time to make themselves a priority. This puts undo stress on their mind and body and can lead to significant health issues like high blood pressure, depression, and anger issues. Parents should never feel guilty for taking time for themselves.

“Engaging in a self-care routine has been clinically proven to reduce or eliminate anxiety and depression, reduce stress, improve concentration, minimize frustration and anger, increase happiness, improve energy, and more. From a physical health perspective, self-care has been clinically proven to reduce heart disease, stroke, and cancer. Spiritually, it may help keep us in tune with our higher power as well as realize our meaning in life” (Glowiak, 2020)

What happens to a CHILD when a parent neglects their self-care?

It ultimately teaches our children that its okay to neglect things like eating healthy, getting exercise, maintaining friendships. Parenting can become more challenging because it takes energy to be a good parent. If we are tired, irritable, or sad it becomes more difficult to care for our children and our homes. It is also a good idea to teach your children how to practice their own self-care. Not all self-care needs to be done alone. In fact, if done with your children, it can create a bonding experience for you.

If we fail to take care of ourselves, how can we have anything left to give to others? An old African Proverb states, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Do not be afraid to ask for help when it is needed. There is nothing to be ashamed of if we are on empty and we just can’t do any more. Self-care is personal maintenance that is performed by the individual. Only you know what you need and only you can act on it. Start today with a bones day!

References

World Health Organization. (2021). What do we mean by self-care.                                      

    WHO. https://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/self-care-interventions/definitions/en/

Glowiak, M. (2020, Apr 14). What is self-care and why is it important for you. Southern New 

    Hampshire University. https://www.snhu.edu/about-us/newsroom/health/what-is-self-care