Who ever said that being a mom is FUN...

must have been a dad! 

Don't get me wrong, being a mom has it's fun moments and I know of the blessings that come with being a mother. I just find myself frustrated more often than not. Frustrated with the fact that I cannot get my kids to put their clothes in the basket even though it is right behind them, finish their chores right away and without whining about it the entire time, put their dirty dished in the dishwasher, put their clean clothes in the closet, pick up their toys, or to put their shoes on the shelf when they walk in the door not just leave them in front of the shelf. Then they expect me to give them everything that they ask for. Where have I gone wrong? Do I expect too much of them? 

I understand that since I am the owner of a vagina, society has labeled me as the family housekeeper, chef, laundry maid, daycare provider, taxi service, psychologist, nurse, accountant, and artist; all without any monetary gain. Therefore I must also be employed outside of the household to help provide to the family income. This has added a new element to my frustration and feelings of inadequacy because I find that I am constantly exhausted and out of patience. I love having the extra money, but I wonder if it is all really worth it. I find myself lacking the motivation to do anything because I know that as soon as I do it the kids will just undo it and quite frankly I don't want to waste the energy trying anymore.

I know that if I quite working then I will just stress about money. Probably doesn't help that I hate my job and I don't mean just a strong dislike, I mean HATE. I dread going there every day. Even on my days off I dread having to go back. I am supposed to be taking a phlebotomy position at a local pathology clinic, but haven't heard back from them. They keep saying that they will call and then they don't. I am not sure what to think of it. I know that it is a job that I would enjoy a whole lot more than what I am doing now and just want it to work out.

I wish that I could figure out a way to balance it all out. I feel sorry for James having to listen to me whinge constantly. He has been trying to offer advice and I love him for it. Guess I just need to adopt the Australian mentality of not worrying about anything.