Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Truisms
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person, who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight saving time.
34. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are above average drivers.
35. Your friends love you anyway.
Remember that one lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "WHY" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved and I didn't take the easy routes very often. But, I'm still around to tell stories about it.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. A person, who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention! It never fails.)
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
26. If you had to identify in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight saving time.
34. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are above average drivers.
35. Your friends love you anyway.
Remember that one lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "WHY" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved and I didn't take the easy routes very often. But, I'm still around to tell stories about it.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
We made it through another week. Tyler ended up with Strep and missed 3 days of school. We are keeping our fingers crossed that Kayla, James, or I don't get it. I have Monday and Tuesday off from school for Fall break and I am looking forward to it. I really need the break. Although, I don't know how much of a break it will be. I will be getting ready for an open house that I am hosting, with seven other direct sales consultants, on November 3. The kids are getting excited for Halloween. Brooklyn is going to be a pirate, Sierra a duck, Kayla a witch, and Tyler is not sure. He is at that age where he still wants to participate but is also feeling like he is too old to go. I'm pretty sure that at the last minute he will decide to go. In the pics of the dogs: Jake as always is watching TV (Evan Almighty); Charlie and Beef (one of James' engineer's dog) taking turns dragging each other accross the floor.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Well, we have had a wild week and it is not even over yet. Brooklyn got Strep throat and is doing better. I wrecked my car, long story, no one got hurt and minor damage, just enough to really tick me off for making such a stupid mistake. Sierra got Strep throat, started antibiotics and Tylenol 3, and then woke up this morning with a rash. The doctor yesterday told us that if she develops a rash then we should take her to the ER immediately. So, we took her to the ER and the doctor there told us that it was a rash caused by the Strep. There went every one's Christmas presents. Sorry! Oh, by the way Brooklyn chose her own outfit today and as you can see she got her fine fashion sense from her father.
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