For my english composition class we had to write a close imitation of the Gettysburg Address...here is what I came up with. Disclaimer: I do not write well, so read at your own risk.
Resolution Address (2009)
by Sandi Gibbons
Two weeks and three days ago I brought forth a resolution, for 2009, motivated by the desire to lose weight, and dedicated to the notion that being skinny will make me happy.
Now I am engaged in a great battle, testing whether I, or any person so dedicated, can endure this struggle with food for proposed happiness. I am met with great challenges; all of which are centered on what to eat. I have come to enjoy the foods that are not conducive to healthy eating, hence the reason for the excess weight. It is altogether fitting, for my happiness, that I keep this resolution.
But, in the larger sense, I cannot discount—I cannot ignore—I cannot disregard—the importance of being a healthy weight. The brave women, past and present, who have struggled with their weight and won, have set an example, far beyond any book written on the subject. The people around me may not remember what I weigh when I am no longer here, nor will they care, unless my weight is the cause of my demise. It is for me that I must be dedicated to finish the battle of the bulge—that I will continue to eat healthy and in moderation—that I will continue to exercise and break a sweat—that I will maintain any and all weight loss that I achieve—and that I shall go forth to share my experience, motivate, and inspire others to have a desire for healthy living, so that we shall not perish before our time.